Differential (self) Diagnosis
by veredgf
Summary: Vignette: Scully's thoughts about being recruited by the FBI (pre-series). Response to Tumblr Challenge. Prompt: School.


_Notes and Disclaimers:_  
 _Vignette, Scully's thoughts re choosing to join the FBI._ First ever prompt-induced fic attempt, i.e. response to leiascully's XF Writing Challenge, prompt: School (Tumblr). _  
XF and Dana Scully are NOT mine (sadly)._

 **Differential (self) Diagnosis  
** By: Vered Gilad Friedman

Dana Scully pulled the sheet over her cadaver and pushed her utensil trolley towards the washroom. It was nearly four in the afternoon and she hoped she could grab a quick bite before her next course. She usually kept a piece of fruit for just such emergencies but one of the other students had skipped lunch and wasn't feeling too well and she ended up offering it to her.

She peeled her surgical gloves off, tossed them in the bin and headed for the giant washroom sink. The washroom itself was unusually empty and Scully welcomed the silence. It gave her time to think and she didn't have much time to indulge in that luxury lately.

In two weeks she would be finishing her medical training and up until yesterday her path had been very clear. She was supposed to start her internship at the University of Maryland Medical Center. She'd roamed the UMMC's hallways for the passing years as a student and it was like her second home. There were quite a few staff members waiting for her to join their team, and she was having a hard time choosing, but she knew she still had time till she had to choose her specialty, so she decided not to worry about it.

But that was all in the past. As of yesterday a new course took over. Quite an unexpected one. She dug into her lab coat pocket and felt the tiny card she'd been given yesterday. She brought it before her eyes and examined it. An almost plain-looking piece of paper with the Justice Department logo on it and bold lettering spelling out the name of an FBI recruitment officer, a one Agent Augustus Stable. An impressive name, she had to admit, on a very unimpressive card. But this card basically meant that for the first time in her life she was going away and leaving her family behind. This card meant she was going against her parents' wishes and especially against her father's, and this card would send her away from her lover.

She now wondered if she'd signed up with the FBI for all the wrong reasons. Did she only do this to get away from her family and lover? Was this some rebellious streak she was having? Some spiteful revenge? Was she just this stubborn child, trying to show everybody that she was old enough and that she could manage on her own? Was this decision going to be something she'd end up regretting for the rest of her life?

She recalled the recruitment officer's words from the day before:

 _"We are offering you a unique opportunity. A chance to distinguish yourself and use your training in ways you would never have imagined. We have singled you out, as we believe, based on your exam results and your teachers' evaluation, that you fit the profile required by the FBI."_

Of course she was curious about that profile of theirs and how did she exactly fit in with it. Why was _she_ specifically singled out? What made her the right match? And what exactly did her teachers have to say about her; especially one _particular_ teacher. Then she frowned at the fact that all that information was available to the FBI in the first place. The idea that their recruitment department was screening for potential candidates amongst university students without their knowledge sent tremors down her spine. What else did they know about her?

But what surprised her the most was how easily she was convinced to join the FBI. Either these recruiters were very talented at their jobs or maybe this job had just the right appeal for her. It was strange; never before did she have qualms regarding the path she'd chosen for herself, and yet, when the opportunity presented itself, she felt that this was meant to be and that she was making the right choice.

She wasn't aware that such positions existed for people such as her. She always saw herself working in a hospital. There was never any doubt there. Until yesterday.

It was just so much more and once she'd thought about it, she'd realized she needed to do more; she needed to find her own path in the world and that meant straying from the one destined for her by her parents and making a hard decision concerning a relationship that had to cease exisiting. This new direction gave her the feeling of freedom and she craved that freedom. She wanted to leave her own mark on the world and she didn't want anybody else's mark, not even her dad's, to be left on her.

Her daddy was the world to her and she did worry about his reaction to her decision. She knew he wouldn't approve and she knew he'd try to sway her from making it. Her mother would probably approach her when they were alone and she'd try to persuade her to respect her father and to not throw her medical career away after all the time and money that went into it. Bill would berate her and tell her she was being a foolish child and only Melissa would support her and tell everybody that her spirit needed to be set free.

Maybe Charlee would have been able to convince her dad to see the good in her decision but Charlee was long gone, unable to live with the harsh demands the Scully family set upon him.

They were a tight-knit clan, the Scullys, and sometimes this tightness would make her feel as if she were suffocating. She had to get out and she hoped her dad would come to appreciate her decision.

And as if dealing with one father figure wasn't enough, Scully found herself having to deal with two. She felt her heart pull a double summersault as she thought about Daniel. The impact that man had had on her was beyond belief. His stare would make her chest want to implode; his touch would make her feel as if she were shooting for the stars. Never before did anyone make her heart and body react so vigorously. Just mere thoughts of him made her tremble. This physical attraction made her at time forget where she was. She'd stare deep into his eyes as he delivered a lecture and every now and then their eyes would meet and she'd know that not only her heart was leaping out in delight but his was doing so as well. It was electrifying.

When he approached her from behind in the corridor, she could smell him before he even spoke or touched her. He had no aftershave, just a distinct scent that made him stick out in the crowd. She felt powerless at his touch and she had to work hard not to scream with orgasmic pleasure when his hand carelessly landed on her shoulder.

Two years of studying under him. Two years of secret meetings in supply closets, locked on-call rooms, being invited to study for an exam in his house with other students while she quickly realized it was just a ruse for him to be near her. During those study groups she sensed he was delivering lectures solely to her. She'd find his ideas fascinating. She would constantly debate his theories and he seemed to thrive on their discussions. As time passed, she realized she subscribed more and more to his beliefs than to the ones she grew upon. Furthermore, she felt that his beliefs were truly hers and he released her from her religious shackles. She'd find herself getting into serious arguments with her parents concerning scientific matters that did not coincide with religion and her father's disappointed expression made her wince, but also made her more convinced in her new-found faith.

She couldn't exactly remember when she began to feel hindered by Daniel. It came on gradually. At some point she realized he was taking her for granted, expecting her to be his groupie, always near him, aiming to serve his humongous ego mentally and sexually. It was like she had opened her eyes to the truth all of a sudden and she understood that she was over him. Yes, he still sent goosebumps down her spine, but she was now able to control her reactions and she felt that somehow she'd replaced her father with Daniel as well as traded one faith for another. Just like she outgrew her parents, she had now outgrown her mentor and lover. He was the right person for her then but now he wasn't anymore.

She realized that she had to stop looking for strong male characters to worship. She needed to find somebody who would be her equal. Her partner.

The FBI was a getaway of sorts, as well as a new door to a new world and to new resolutions.

She looked at her watch. She had five minutes left till her 'infectious diseases' class began. She tucked the FBI recruiter's card back into her lab coat pocket and hurried out of the anatomy lab with a content smile on her face and the feeling that one gets when one was about to embark on a new journey.

 **THE END**


End file.
